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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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[classical music]
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On the way
to the bus stop,
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Bill saw somebody he
recognized walking towards him,
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but he couldn't
remember his name.
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He began to think
of things to say
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when they'd be close enough
to acknowledge each other.
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As they drew nearer,
their eyes locked,
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uncertain if the other
was going to stop to talk.
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The person greeted Bill,
as Bill mixed up the phrases,
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"Whats up?"
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with, "How's it going?"
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Confused, the
person blurted out,
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"Thanks," before he
knew what he was saying.
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Words caught in Bill's
throat and he replied,
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"Weh."
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They did a sort
of awkward half-turn
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and then continued on,
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now confident that the other
was not going to stop to talk.
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They never saw
each other again,
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and a day later had each
forgotten the whole thing.
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Later that night, Bill sat
down and put on a big sweater
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but it only made him sleepy.
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In the supermarket, Bill
was always very careful
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to select fruit from only the
back of the produce piles,
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as the fruit in the front
was at crotch-level
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to the other customers.
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An old man who smelled of
gasoline held up an onion
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and said, "Big onion,"
to no one in particular.
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He smiled at Bill and
Bill looked at his socks.
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At the check-out counter,
Bill found himself
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behind a big guy
whose t-shirt read,
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"Second place is
the first loser."
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The check-out girl said,
"How are you doing today?"
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Bill said, "Fine
thanks, how are you?"
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She didn't answer.
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Bill felt used.
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As he waited
for his next bus,
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Bill stared at a
torn shopping bag
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that was blowing in the wind
on the end of a broken pole,
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and anxiously sucked blood
out of a sore in the corner
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of his mouth.
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[beautiful opera music]
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[beautiful opera music]
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Bill dropped his keys
on the counter
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and stood there
staring at them,
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suddenly thinking
about all the times
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he'd thrown his keys
there before...
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...and how many days of
his life were wasted...
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repeating the same tasks and
rituals in his apartment,
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over and over again.
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But then he wondered
if, realistically...
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this was his life...
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and the unusual part was his
time spent doing other things.
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Bill sat down and read
a celebrity interview.
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Then he watched the ants
crawl around in his sink.
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[strange atmospheric
sounds]
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That night, Bill dreamt
of a monstrous fish head
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that fed upon his skull.
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[the fish gasps,
ominously]
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In the morning,
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Bill felt really tired even
though he'd just been sleeping.
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His calendar had a photo of a
manatee on it for the month.
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It always seemed as though
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the manatee was staring at him.
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Bill sat in the living room
with a giant box of crackers.
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He thought some food
might help him get going,
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but felt kind of
strange eating in front
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of the television
without having it on.
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Pretty soon he was
watching a boxing match
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on a Mexican channel.
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He'd been watching a
lot of boxing lately
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but didn't really know why.
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In the 4th round there was
an accidental head butt
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that split open one of the
fighter's heads pretty badly.
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They showed it
over and over again,
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in slow motion.
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Before he knew it,
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Bill had eaten the
entire box of crackers.
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He felt really lousy
and didn't want to get up.
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He had a sudden urge
to talk to somebody,
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so Bill phoned his
ex-girlfriend and told her
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about the manatee
on his calendar.
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"Did you ever see the movie
about the giant manatee
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that attacked a
city?" she asked.
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00:05:05,723 --> 00:05:09,060
"I think you mean giant
mantis, said Bill.
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"Oh yeah", she said.
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"Giant mantis."
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The next morning,
Bill felt even worse.
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Downtown, the hot smell
of manure blew past him
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as he walked.
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Bill soon came upon three
dead horses in the road,
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apparently struck down
by a large moving vehicle.
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"Well," he thought, "that
would explain the smell, then."
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[quiet acoustic guitar music]
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He met his ex-girlfriend
during her lunch break
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and they took a
walk to the park.
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He noticed that every
time he was near her,
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she sort of moved away with a
tight-lipped smile on her face,
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as though
everything were ok.
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Mostly they
talked about death.
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They agreed that being buried
seemed too claustrophobic,
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and Bill didn't
want to be cremated
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after he'd read that the
intense heat boils fluids
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in the skull until
your head explodes.
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He decided that he'd
want his body shot off
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into space in a rocket ship.
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00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:05,157
He figured it'd be too
expensive to launch
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the weight of his entire
body, but maybe just sending
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his head into space
would be good enough,
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preferably in front
of a little window.
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His-ex girlfriend said
she'd be really creeped out
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if she knew Bill's severed
head was floating around
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above her in space.
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Bill was given a new booklet
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at the clinic, discussing
potential memory loss
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in his treatment.
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Inside was a
cartoon character saying,
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"I don't know
about you folks,
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but I could lose my
keys eatin' breakfast."
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His neighbor, trying to
be helpful but failing,
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cornered Bill
in the parking lot
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to explain how
cryogenic scientists
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could freeze his brain in ice
until a point in the future
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when microscopic robots
could repair it.
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Bill daydreamed about
all the brains in jars
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he used to see at school,
how he used to wonder
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whether there were still somehow
pieces of individuals inside...
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...scattered fragments
of partial dreams
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or lost memories locked deep
within that dead tissue..
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....or whether this entire
archive is immediately erased,
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the moment that the body fails.
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He began to think of
people in a new light...
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how everyone's just little
more than that frightened,
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fragile brain stem...
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00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:11,474
surrounded by
meat and physics,
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too terrified to recognize
the sum of their parts...
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...insulated in the
shells of their skulls
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and lower middle
class houses...
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...afraid of change,
afraid of decisions,
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afraid of pain...
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...stuck in traffic,
listening to terrible music.
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[tacky music on
the car radio]
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His neighbor stared
at him and said,
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"Last night, I dreamt
all my toes fell off."
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On the way to
his front door,
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Bill's other neighbor said,
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"Sup, as in, "What's up?"
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Inside he noticed a
weird wet spot on his mattress
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that he didn't remember
being there before.
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Bill watched part of
a documentary program
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about a 5,000 year old ice
man that was found in Italy.
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Scientists explored
its colon and everything
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00:07:57,228 --> 00:07:59,522
on live television.
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00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:00,981
[the quiet hum of a freezer]
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00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,274
Bill wondered
if the ice man
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00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,485
could ever have imagined
this would one day
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00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:05,820
have happened to him.
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[quiet music,
played in reverse]
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That night, Bill dreamt
he was at the seaside,
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desperately throwing dead
bodies off of a little boat.
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Bill took a walk in the park
to try and get some fresh air.
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He noticed
somebody had written,
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"I love you," in the
playground sand
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and he thought that
was really beautiful.
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As he continued on,
a sudden dribble
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of urine shot
down his pant leg.
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That was unexpected.
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Then some little fat kid
with a deformed foot tried
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00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:42,857
to sell him a
magazine subscription.
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Bill looked at the list
of magazines for sale
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and angrily wondered why they
didn't offer any Asian porn...
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00:08:48,821 --> 00:08:51,991
Then he wondered
why he wondered that.
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On his way to the clinic,
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he found he had a little
trouble understanding people...
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[characters speaking in strange,
frightening gibberish]
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Even his pamphlet
seemed different.
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00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:04,128
The guy next to him at the bus
stop had the head of a cow,
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but Bill pretended
not to notice.
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His doctor said he had
some discouraging news:
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The latest tests ruled out
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the possibility
of further surgeries,
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and his current treatment didn't
seem to be making any progress.
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He wanted to start
Bill on something new.
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He couldn't think of any reason
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00:09:21,145 --> 00:09:22,980
why Bill should be
seeing things though
188
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and asked him a
series of questions.
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"You have to understand that
your body is going through a
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00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:28,444
lot of stress right now..."
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[very quiet background sounds
of a hospital waiting room]
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Bill picked up
his new medication,
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00:09:57,806 --> 00:10:00,476
went home, and
masturbated for seven hours.
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00:10:00,476 --> 00:10:02,353
[classical music and
opera played in reverse]
195
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He woke up the
following morning
196
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and thought his room
seemed different.
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[bizarre loud noises]
198
00:10:14,782 --> 00:10:16,784
His mouth was bleeding...
199
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:19,787
four of his teeth had
fallen out in the night.
200
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:23,874
They looked sort
of like dog teeth.
201
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:27,586
Everyone in the supermarket
looked like some sort of demon.
202
00:10:27,586 --> 00:10:31,215
And they all had gigantic,
bacteria-ridden crotches
203
00:10:31,215 --> 00:10:36,220
buried in the all
the goddamned produce!
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It felt like his
whole body was sparkling.
205
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:43,102
His shoes felt as though
they were filling with blood
206
00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:45,437
and his hands
smelled like copper.
207
00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:55,436
[the music swells, amid strange
voices and squeaking noises]
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When he got home, he found a
pair of Lion King slippers
209
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in his closet
210
00:11:02,413 --> 00:11:07,376
but had no idea whose they were,
or how they got in there.
211
00:11:07,376 --> 00:11:14,049
[quiet crickets at night]
212
00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:16,552
[and the faraway sound
of a distant train]
213
00:11:16,552 --> 00:11:20,347
[classical music played in
reverse fades in again]
214
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,934
Silly high-pitched voice:
"The pipe is leaking!...
215
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,186
The pipe is leaking!..."
[repeating]
216
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,480
Bill could read the
thoughts of his waitress,
217
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,067
who wore too much eye
makeup and had no self-esteem.
218
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:36,071
Outside, horribly deformed birds
checked their voice mail...
219
00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:38,240
"I am made
nervous by a clone
220
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,326
that grows beneath
my closet..."
221
00:11:40,326 --> 00:11:41,702
"It's not as complicated as
that, we just don't like you..."
222
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,495
"I am a man with a very large hat.
This means I am in charge."
223
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,371
"I am sexually inadequate."
224
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,247
"Why do you keep
treating me this way?"
225
00:11:45,247 --> 00:11:46,123
"Darkness....
darkness... darkness..."
226
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:48,125
"The effects of
tranquilizers on animals
227
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:49,877
at higher altitudes
are unpredictable..."
228
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,463
"Why don't you come over
here and sit on my lap?"
229
00:11:52,463 --> 00:11:55,883
After lunch, Bill put on
the Lion King slippers
230
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,343
and flew to the bus stop.
231
00:11:57,343 --> 00:11:59,595
[a growing, disturbing
chorus of backwards music
232
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:01,638
and unsettling sounds...]
233
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:02,639
Bill dropped his
keys on the counter
234
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,975
and stood there
staring at them,
235
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:05,893
suddenly thinking
about all the times
236
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:07,644
he'd thrown his
keys there before,
237
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,146
and how many days
of his life were wasted...
238
00:12:09,146 --> 00:12:11,273
But then he wondered
if, realistically,
239
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,941
this was his life...
240
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:14,818
this was his life....
241
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:17,446
this was his life...
242
00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:18,906
[all of the backwards
voices and strange
243
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:23,410
and frightening noises
reach a climax...
244
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,955
the beautiful voice of an
opera soprano breaks through]
245
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:38,384
[the Lion King slippers scream]
246
00:12:38,384 --> 00:12:48,102
[backwards voices and strange
whispers... total chaos]
247
00:12:48,102 --> 00:12:50,521
"The power of Christ
compels you!
248
00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:53,524
The power of
Christ compels you!"
249
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:58,195
[screams, roars and hisses]
250
00:12:58,195 --> 00:13:08,194
[all of the noises grow
to a deafening roar]
251
00:13:09,206 --> 00:13:12,167
[sudden silence... a distant
sound of a wind tunnel...
252
00:13:12,167 --> 00:13:15,796
a constant high-pitched
ringing, like tinnitus]
253
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:35,149
[everyday
sounds of a busy city,
254
00:13:35,149 --> 00:13:41,155
foot traffic
and distant car horns]
255
00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:42,656
His mother came
to take care of him,
256
00:13:42,656 --> 00:13:44,241
all the way from Omaha.
257
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:45,868
She was a waitress
and often smelt
258
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:49,246
of baby powder and cheese.
259
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:51,415
They spent a lot of time
together doing puzzles
260
00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,666
and watching television.
261
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:55,919
[silly screaming
character on tv]
262
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:59,089
One morning as Bill was staring
at the patterns in the carpet,
263
00:13:59,089 --> 00:14:01,175
she noticed a loose
thread in his collar.
264
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:05,762
[very sudden terrifying
music out of nowhere]
265
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:06,847
[Bill hisses like a cat]
266
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,812
"How could you think
I'd ever want to hurt you?"
267
00:14:13,812 --> 00:14:18,984
she said, and
crumpled to the floor.
268
00:14:18,984 --> 00:14:22,863
In that moment, Bill thought
she looked really old.
269
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:32,748
Sometimes the fluids in the IV
put a funny taste in his mouth.
270
00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,708
Bill awoke to find
beautiful sunlight streaming
271
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,418
through his window.
272
00:14:36,418 --> 00:14:37,753
He tried to
climb through it,
273
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,338
but didn't have
the strength to stand.
274
00:14:39,338 --> 00:14:45,928
[ominous music]
275
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:51,642
[the constant beeping sound of
a hospital heart-beat monitor]
276
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:14,414
[the beeping turns into the
sound of a telemetry signal]
277
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:29,888
The next morning,
Bill actually felt pretty good.
278
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:32,766
The day after that,
he felt even better.
279
00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:35,185
Then he felt a lot worse.
280
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:38,355
But the following day,
Bill felt just fine.
281
00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:41,191
"I'm sorry, I just don't
know what to make of it,
282
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:42,526
his doctor said.
283
00:15:42,526 --> 00:15:44,987
"Maybe Bill's body
is simply rallying
284
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,823
before finally giving up."
285
00:15:47,823 --> 00:15:50,742
His uncle, whom Bill had not
even noticed in the room,
286
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,411
had taken a lot
of time off work
287
00:15:52,411 --> 00:15:55,539
to fly in all the
way from Tulsa.
288
00:15:55,539 --> 00:15:57,791
He looked vaguely annoyed.
289
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:06,883
[awkward silence... a distant
plane flies overhead]
290
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,302
After another two days,
291
00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:10,721
they concluded Bill
was not going to die,
292
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:16,727
so his mother had all of the
flowers removed from his room.
293
00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:18,854
She also had to have
his casket returned,
294
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:21,440
at great expense
and inconvenience.
295
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:28,363
Bill had to go back to
work the following Tuesday.
296
00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:30,073
It rained for the
entire bus ride.
297
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:36,496
[beautiful symphonic
music gradually builds
298
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:44,838
and swells in cascades,
299
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:54,837
layering upon itself against
the sound of the rain...]
300
00:16:54,931 --> 00:17:02,481
layering upon itself against
the sound of the rain...]
301
00:17:02,481 --> 00:17:12,480
[Music]
302
00:17:12,574 --> 00:17:20,457
[Music]
303
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:47,640
[the sounds of the ocean,
waves and sea birds]
304
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:54,366
[the sounds of the ocean,
waves and sea birds]
305
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,970
Last week, Bill's class
took a field trip to the beach.
306
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,179
[classical music, on
a repeating loop]
307
00:18:16,179 --> 00:18:18,640
His half-brother,
Randall came along:
308
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:22,436
a little boy in the special
class with aluminum hook arms,
309
00:18:22,436 --> 00:18:27,065
whose mind was as
misshapen as his legs.
310
00:18:27,065 --> 00:18:28,483
No one at school
really knew him
311
00:18:28,483 --> 00:18:30,485
because he always
rode a separate bus...
312
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,362
...and was taught to stand
within the confines
313
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:35,615
of a tetherball
circle every recess.
314
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,367
In the late afternoon,
Randall was over
315
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,454
with the adults when he
spotted a gull overhead.
316
00:18:40,454 --> 00:18:41,788
His eyes burst with emotion
317
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,332
and he suddenly took off
stumbling after it.
318
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,752
Tears streaming
down his little face,
319
00:18:46,752 --> 00:18:48,795
he stretched his
aluminum hooks as wide
320
00:18:48,795 --> 00:18:51,423
as he could towards
the sun, howling,
321
00:18:51,423 --> 00:18:54,050
"Booooooon!
Booooooon!"
322
00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:57,471
and disappeared
into the deep blue sea.
323
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:03,059
The other kids were surprised
he could even run that fast.
324
00:19:03,059 --> 00:19:05,353
[the music turns ominous]
325
00:19:05,353 --> 00:19:06,938
Bill's mother put a
heavy coat over him
326
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,523
whenever he
left the house,
327
00:19:08,523 --> 00:19:09,941
for fear that he
might fall victim
328
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:13,278
to something called
"walking pneumonia."
329
00:19:13,278 --> 00:19:16,072
She starting doing this the
winter after losing Randall,
330
00:19:16,072 --> 00:19:19,159
but then made him wear it every
day for the next five years.
331
00:19:19,159 --> 00:19:19,576
[the music turns sad]
332
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:20,786
In the summers,
333
00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:24,623
he also had to wear a helmet
and asbestos safety gloves.
334
00:19:24,623 --> 00:19:27,042
These were the days
she rarely left the house
335
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,377
and shaved the cat on weekends.
336
00:19:29,377 --> 00:19:32,214
On his sixth birthday, his
mother gave him a postage stamp
337
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:38,428
and a piece of yarn and
hugged him for five minutes.
338
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:42,390
His parents argued again
that night and she threw meat.
339
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:44,267
His stepfather
stormed to the door,
340
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:46,269
where he turned his
face up towards a hole
341
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,438
in the ceiling and yelled,
342
00:19:48,438 --> 00:19:53,902
"I just can't handle this
god damned woman," and left.
343
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:55,779
[a door slams shut]
344
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,405
She stared at
the front door
345
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,449
and rocked there
in place, saying,
346
00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:04,329
"aaa aaa aaa
aaa aaa aaa aaa."
347
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:06,039
Every now and
then at school,
348
00:20:06,039 --> 00:20:08,667
he'd find a note from
her in his lunch box.
349
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:18,666
[the sad music swells]
350
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:24,683
[running water in
a bathroom sink]
351
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:28,562
His hair was
finally growing back.
352
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,700
After completing the
clinic's daily memory quiz,
353
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:45,912
Bill went to the city and saw
ants take apart a dead bird.
354
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,002
Yesterday, he
spent thirty seconds
355
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:56,047
trying to open his front
door with his mailbox key.
356
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:59,009
It's been over a year
now since his diagnosis,
357
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,552
when they'd stayed
up late drinking
358
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:05,015
and Bill slept on the couch.
359
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,100
In the morning, he sat
on the toilet seat
360
00:21:07,100 --> 00:21:09,853
and quietly watched her
put on her make-up.
361
00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:13,857
That afternoon, she
told him it was over.
362
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,776
In the hardware store, a
nice kid with a skin condition
363
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,194
helps Bill find
the right battery
364
00:21:18,194 --> 00:21:20,530
for his wall clock.
365
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,198
He had taken a
walk to the park,
366
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,702
but didn't really know
what to do with his day there.
367
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:30,540
At home he makes toast,
but changes his mind.
368
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,709
He's been having
trouble sleeping again,
369
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:36,838
and realizes he's lying in
the dark with his eyes open.
370
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:50,424
[Leaf blower drone
drowning out classical music]
371
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:58,360
[Leaf blower drone
drowning out classical music]
372
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:25,209
[Leaf blower drone
drowning out classical music]
373
00:22:25,303 --> 00:22:32,769
[Leaf blower drone
drowning out classical music]
374
00:22:37,649 --> 00:22:47,648
[Leaf blower drone
drowning out classical music]
375
00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:10,254
[Leaf blower drone
drowning out classical music]
376
00:23:32,996 --> 00:23:35,832
Whenever Grandma would visit
and he'd show her his drawings,
377
00:23:35,832 --> 00:23:38,752
she'd often imagine how easily
she could toss little Bill
378
00:23:38,752 --> 00:23:39,878
into the fireplace...
379
00:23:39,878 --> 00:23:41,963
[dark, ominous music]
380
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:44,090
...or even through
a thin window...
381
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:47,719
...for he was still young and
quite small, and floppy...
382
00:23:47,719 --> 00:23:50,221
...and she reckoned light
enough for a woman of her size
383
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:54,017
and strength to hurl across
the room several yards or more.
384
00:23:54,017 --> 00:23:56,269
[the music grows more
turbulent and intense]
385
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:58,438
In the middle of the night
she opens the drawer
386
00:23:58,438 --> 00:24:01,691
to find the preserved
cat head from last week.
387
00:24:01,691 --> 00:24:05,070
She can feel the fish
smothering her brain,
388
00:24:05,070 --> 00:24:07,572
and the magic scrubbing
of their furry little heads
389
00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:10,492
across her skin is
doing less and less good...
390
00:24:10,492 --> 00:24:11,868
[strange echoes: "doing
less and less good...
391
00:24:11,868 --> 00:24:12,702
doing less and less good..."]
392
00:24:12,702 --> 00:24:13,828
...and she decides this is
393
00:24:13,828 --> 00:24:15,538
because their little
heads are of low quality...
394
00:24:15,538 --> 00:24:16,831
...and she needs
more of them....
395
00:24:16,831 --> 00:24:18,208
[strange echoes: "and she
needs more of them..."]
396
00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:20,335
...many, many more of them,
from higher pedigree breeds...
397
00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:22,754
...little heads with richer
skin and better hair-dos
398
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:25,256
and cleaner little ears
and clearer eyes...
399
00:24:25,256 --> 00:24:32,889
[the music slows down and
becomes sad and tragic]
400
00:24:32,889 --> 00:24:36,684
They said she had a tumor
and was suffering from seizures
401
00:24:36,684 --> 00:24:38,436
and dementia.
402
00:24:38,436 --> 00:24:40,230
Bill didn't know
what those words meant,
403
00:24:40,230 --> 00:24:43,483
but he had ideas.
404
00:24:44,651 --> 00:24:47,070
[rustic and energetic
violin folk music]
405
00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:49,572
Grandma was born in
Bootblack, Wyoming,
406
00:24:49,572 --> 00:24:51,699
two years after
the great mud storms
407
00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:53,910
drowned all the hogs.
408
00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:56,830
Her father serviced
electric machines...
409
00:24:56,830 --> 00:25:00,834
...and once strangled a rock in
a fit of religious excitement.
410
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,629
He enjoyed wood...
411
00:25:04,629 --> 00:25:06,923
...and telling the children
late-night stories
412
00:25:06,923 --> 00:25:10,593
of how his own Papa
used to tame the wilderness.
413
00:25:13,847 --> 00:25:17,100
He was a quiet, unassuming man
who was eating an onion one day
414
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:18,893
when he was cut
in half by a train.
415
00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:28,111
Grandma's older brother
became a preacher
416
00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:32,073
who grew his mole hairs
long to purify his soul.
417
00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:34,075
In his early years,
he secretly fathered
418
00:25:34,075 --> 00:25:36,870
an illegitimate child
and smothered it one night
419
00:25:36,870 --> 00:25:38,121
in the abandoned stable.
420
00:25:38,121 --> 00:25:39,497
[ominous crickets
and frogs
421
00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:41,374
briefly drown out the
continuous folk music]
422
00:25:41,374 --> 00:25:45,253
As he aged, he became plagued
with firebugs and once claimed
423
00:25:45,253 --> 00:25:47,255
to have seen an aquatic
creature make off
424
00:25:47,255 --> 00:25:50,550
with the sheriff's prize cow.
425
00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:56,556
He was eventually crippled
with lead poisoning and polio.
426
00:25:56,556 --> 00:25:58,808
And was killed by a train.
427
00:26:03,479 --> 00:26:05,273
Grandma's little
sister, Polly,
428
00:26:05,273 --> 00:26:07,108
had beautiful golden hair
429
00:26:07,108 --> 00:26:11,154
and pounded at imaginary
animals with a hammer.
430
00:26:11,154 --> 00:26:15,909
She died at the age of eight
after contracting yellow fever.
431
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:16,951
And catching on fire.
432
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:26,628
After Polly's death, Grandma's
mother cut out her tongue
433
00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,547
and vigorously enjoyed
taking health tonics
434
00:26:29,547 --> 00:26:31,549
and prescription medications.
435
00:26:31,549 --> 00:26:34,636
[strange howling]
436
00:26:34,636 --> 00:26:37,388
[an inhuman scream]
437
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:39,724
A wild man wandered
into town that summer
438
00:26:39,724 --> 00:26:43,228
and beat the church
organist with a shovel.
439
00:26:43,228 --> 00:26:45,772
He defecated what looked
like a pile of blueberries
440
00:26:45,772 --> 00:26:48,524
on the family
porch and disappeared,
441
00:26:48,524 --> 00:26:51,361
howling into the marsh.
442
00:26:51,361 --> 00:26:52,779
Nobody knew that this wild man
443
00:26:52,779 --> 00:26:55,365
was in fact Grandma's
great-uncle...
444
00:26:55,365 --> 00:26:58,952
....a forgotten, unwanted child
who'd been fed carbolic acid
445
00:26:58,952 --> 00:27:02,914
and abandoned in the northern
woods fifty-two years prior.
446
00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:05,041
He ate mud and sticks
447
00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:07,919
and knew only how to
say the word, "Bible."
448
00:27:15,051 --> 00:27:17,512
He died alone in a field
one summer morning
449
00:27:17,512 --> 00:27:21,057
while dreaming of the moon.
450
00:27:21,057 --> 00:27:25,645
Six weeks later, a
sunflower grew out of his head.
451
00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:27,397
In their later years,
Grandma's family
452
00:27:27,397 --> 00:27:30,066
moved to the big city,
where her mother lived out
453
00:27:30,066 --> 00:27:34,279
the rest of her
days making jam...
454
00:27:34,279 --> 00:27:37,365
...and persecuting Jews.
455
00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:39,284
There was a bush in
front of their building
456
00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:41,536
in the shape of a heart
that made her cry
457
00:27:41,536 --> 00:27:44,289
every time she saw it.
458
00:27:44,289 --> 00:27:47,959
She died alone while Grandma
was away at boarding school,
459
00:27:47,959 --> 00:27:51,379
surrounded by
visions of phantoms.
460
00:27:51,379 --> 00:27:56,175
[otherworldly howling]
461
00:27:56,175 --> 00:27:59,721
Grandpa died eleven years
before Grandma did.
462
00:27:59,721 --> 00:28:02,015
He used to sit next
to her every Sunday,
463
00:28:02,015 --> 00:28:05,810
but now she plays
his bingo card for him.
464
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:15,445
[beautiful harp music]
465
00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:17,363
Last night, Bill dreamt
he was young again,
466
00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:20,450
in a field with
friends at the seaside.
467
00:28:20,450 --> 00:28:22,827
A big happy seal barked
at them and bounded
468
00:28:22,827 --> 00:28:26,122
from the water to play soccer.
469
00:28:26,122 --> 00:28:28,124
He was pretty good.
470
00:28:28,124 --> 00:28:31,044
It was like an animal movie.
471
00:28:31,044 --> 00:28:33,338
Then the seal hit the
ball a little too excited
472
00:28:33,338 --> 00:28:36,466
and it flew over everyone's
heads and struck a little boy
473
00:28:36,466 --> 00:28:39,719
in an adjacent field
really hard in the chest.
474
00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:41,763
It seemed like maybe
he had a heart condition
475
00:28:41,763 --> 00:28:44,640
or something because
he wasn't moving.
476
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,477
Everyone sort of froze.
477
00:28:47,477 --> 00:28:51,314
The seal
retreated to the sea.
478
00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:55,860
Nobody knew what to do.
479
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:59,238
He'd slept on his arm funny
and it felt sort of numb.
480
00:29:01,866 --> 00:29:04,744
[shower water running]
481
00:29:04,744 --> 00:29:07,080
Sometimes it sounds like
there's voices in the water.
482
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:09,123
[strange, subtle reverse
whispers]
483
00:29:09,123 --> 00:29:10,583
He's been putting
some weight back on
484
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:14,003
and his doctor had said
that was good news.
485
00:29:14,003 --> 00:29:16,172
At the bus stop his
left testicle ached
486
00:29:16,172 --> 00:29:20,176
for no apparent reason and it
almost made him feel dizzy.
487
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:23,596
Not much happened at work.
488
00:29:23,596 --> 00:29:26,516
Bill made a pyramid
out of three staplers.
489
00:29:26,516 --> 00:29:28,393
And the new guy
swallowed a paper clip
490
00:29:28,393 --> 00:29:32,939
and was rushed out
in a wheelchair.
491
00:29:32,939 --> 00:29:35,691
The guy in the next cubicle
over told Bill about a thing
492
00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:37,360
he saw on TV
493
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,738
about identical twins
who were separated at birth
494
00:29:40,738 --> 00:29:44,909
but had individually grown
up to be serial killers.
495
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:47,370
It was as though they
didn't have any choice
496
00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:49,789
in what they turned into.
497
00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:52,667
"Genetics is pretty
messed up, he said,
498
00:29:52,667 --> 00:29:55,795
as his chewing gum flung
itself from his mouth.
499
00:29:59,549 --> 00:30:01,426
At lunch he told Bill
about a physics book
500
00:30:01,426 --> 00:30:03,386
he was reading about time.
501
00:30:03,386 --> 00:30:06,264
How the passing of
time is just an illusion,
502
00:30:06,264 --> 00:30:11,894
because all of eternity is
actually taking place at once.
503
00:30:11,894 --> 00:30:14,355
The past never
vanishes away,
504
00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:17,733
and the future
has already happened.
505
00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:20,778
All of history is
fixed and laid out,
506
00:30:20,778 --> 00:30:24,574
like an infinite landscape
of simultaneous events
507
00:30:24,574 --> 00:30:31,497
that we simply happen to travel
through in one direction.
508
00:30:31,497 --> 00:30:34,041
Bill made a joke that he could
have sworn he'd been told
509
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,293
that somewhere before,
510
00:30:35,293 --> 00:30:40,298
but the guy just stared at
him like he didn't get it.
511
00:30:40,298 --> 00:30:43,217
At home Bill watched the
microwave spin his food
512
00:30:43,217 --> 00:30:46,471
and daydreamed about
the Galapagos Islands.
513
00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:48,764
He'd purchased the
new brand of paper towels
514
00:30:48,764 --> 00:30:50,600
that had hundreds
of little raised bumps
515
00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:52,101
across every sheet.
516
00:30:58,941 --> 00:31:02,487
He found a message on
the answering machine...
517
00:31:02,487 --> 00:31:03,613
...that was sorry to inform him
518
00:31:03,613 --> 00:31:07,450
his mother had just
died that morning.
519
00:31:07,450 --> 00:31:10,912
They said she'd launched into
a fit of senile hysterics
520
00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:13,789
after skipping her medication.
521
00:31:13,789 --> 00:31:15,958
And was hit by a train.
522
00:31:15,958 --> 00:31:17,043
[troubled classical music,
on a repeating loop]
523
00:31:17,043 --> 00:31:19,754
She'd reserved her own
funeral plot years in advance
524
00:31:19,754 --> 00:31:22,507
in order to be buried
alongside her parents...
525
00:31:22,507 --> 00:31:23,799
...but due to a clerical error
526
00:31:23,799 --> 00:31:26,385
had to be placed
fifty yards away,
527
00:31:26,385 --> 00:31:28,137
between a coffin full of rocks
528
00:31:28,137 --> 00:31:31,557
and a rich woman's
golden retriever.
529
00:31:31,557 --> 00:31:34,644
After the funeral, Bill went
through her old storage boxes
530
00:31:34,644 --> 00:31:38,314
and was surprised to find
a 100 year old photo album.
531
00:31:38,314 --> 00:31:40,191
Among the many
pictures of relatives
532
00:31:40,191 --> 00:31:41,776
and people he never knew
533
00:31:41,776 --> 00:31:46,697
were several photographs
of bacon... and lumber.
534
00:31:46,697 --> 00:31:49,700
He also found an old
series of strange portraits
535
00:31:49,700 --> 00:31:54,205
that had been neatly labeled,
for unknown future reference.
536
00:31:57,750 --> 00:31:59,919
Scattered throughout the
box were forgotten photos
537
00:31:59,919 --> 00:32:02,129
of himself as a young boy.
538
00:32:02,129 --> 00:32:05,716
He'd read once how each cell
in the body replaces itself
539
00:32:05,716 --> 00:32:08,052
and dies as
the years pass...
540
00:32:08,052 --> 00:32:10,846
...how everyone is
slowly reconstructed
541
00:32:10,846 --> 00:32:15,017
out of continuously
changing pieces.
542
00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:18,479
It depressed him how foreign
the pictures seemed to him now,
543
00:32:18,479 --> 00:32:22,191
how his ridiculous, ingrown
cells had long ago stolen
544
00:32:22,191 --> 00:32:24,527
this happy dead kid's identity,
545
00:32:24,527 --> 00:32:29,282
and with his own life,
made a complete mess of it.
546
00:32:29,282 --> 00:32:30,324
Beneath the album
547
00:32:30,324 --> 00:32:33,035
was a folder of his
mother's medical records.
548
00:32:33,035 --> 00:32:34,829
Attached to her
initial diagnosis
549
00:32:34,829 --> 00:32:35,997
was a physician's note
550
00:32:35,997 --> 00:32:38,499
that strongly recommended
she never have a child.
551
00:32:42,628 --> 00:32:48,634
[sounds of a city,
with distant traffic]
552
00:32:48,634 --> 00:32:58,633
[ominous and strong classical
music begins and slowly builds]
553
00:33:16,454 --> 00:33:18,623
He pictures himself
having trouble breathing
554
00:33:18,623 --> 00:33:21,709
and waking to a roomful
of concerned faces.
555
00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:24,837
He'd been terrified
of dying his entire life,
556
00:33:24,837 --> 00:33:26,964
and as much as he'd
tried not to think about it,
557
00:33:26,964 --> 00:33:29,300
death was always in
the back of his head,
558
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,762
around every corner, and
hovering on each horizon.
559
00:33:32,762 --> 00:33:35,640
He'd brushed shoulders with
death on a few occasions,
560
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,933
but in his carefree youth
it had almost seemed like
561
00:33:37,933 --> 00:33:41,437
an abstract, impossible thing
to ever happen to him.
562
00:33:41,437 --> 00:33:42,938
But with each
passing decade,
563
00:33:42,938 --> 00:33:45,941
he began to gauge the
time he probably had left,
564
00:33:45,941 --> 00:33:49,028
and by his 40s, what he
considered his halfway point
565
00:33:49,028 --> 00:33:52,365
at best, he had come to
know just one thing:
566
00:33:52,365 --> 00:33:57,953
You will only get older.
567
00:33:57,953 --> 00:33:59,622
The next thing you
know, you're looking back
568
00:33:59,622 --> 00:34:01,457
instead of forward.
569
00:34:01,457 --> 00:34:04,752
And now, at the climax
of all those years of worry,
570
00:34:04,752 --> 00:34:07,296
sleepless nights, and denials,
571
00:34:07,296 --> 00:34:09,799
Bill finally finds himself
staring his death
572
00:34:09,799 --> 00:34:11,050
in the face...
573
00:34:11,050 --> 00:34:13,678
...surrounded by people
he no longer recognizes
574
00:34:13,678 --> 00:34:15,805
and feels no
closer attachment to
575
00:34:15,805 --> 00:34:19,308
than the thousands of
relatives who'd come before.
576
00:34:19,308 --> 00:34:21,310
And as the sun
continues to set,
577
00:34:21,310 --> 00:34:24,605
he finally comes to
realize the dumb irony
578
00:34:24,605 --> 00:34:28,484
in how he'd been waiting for
this moment his entire life.
579
00:34:28,484 --> 00:34:31,987
This stupid, awkward moment
of death that had invaded
580
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:38,327
and distracted so many days
with stress and wasted time.
581
00:34:38,327 --> 00:34:41,205
If only he could travel back
and impart some wisdom
582
00:34:41,205 --> 00:34:43,040
to his younger self.
583
00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,126
If only he could at least
tell the young people
584
00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:46,502
in this room.
585
00:34:46,502 --> 00:34:50,214
He lifts an arm to speak
but inexplicably says,
586
00:34:50,214 --> 00:34:53,551
"it smells like
dust and moonlight."
587
00:34:53,551 --> 00:34:55,845
[the classical
music continues to build
588
00:34:55,845 --> 00:34:59,014
in strength
and beauty]
589
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,307
He'd forgotten years ago
590
00:35:00,307 --> 00:35:03,102
to replace the battery in the
cheap wall clock in his kitchen
591
00:35:03,102 --> 00:35:06,439
and it was forever
stuck on 11:57.
592
00:35:06,439 --> 00:35:08,190
He couldn't remember
why he'd put a clock there
593
00:35:08,190 --> 00:35:09,525
in the first place,
594
00:35:09,525 --> 00:35:11,193
since it was sort of
in an awkward nook
595
00:35:11,193 --> 00:35:14,947
around a corner where he'd
never wonder what time it was.
596
00:35:28,335 --> 00:35:30,129
Near the bottom
of the storage box,
597
00:35:30,129 --> 00:35:33,340
Bill found an old notebook
he'd never seen before...
598
00:35:33,340 --> 00:35:35,968
...filling the pages inside,
his mother had repeatedly
599
00:35:35,968 --> 00:35:38,846
practiced her handwriting,
so she could send him off
600
00:35:38,846 --> 00:35:41,098
to school with the
best-looking notes.
601
00:35:41,098 --> 00:35:51,097
[the music continues]
602
00:36:09,043 --> 00:36:10,294
He calls his ex-girlfriend
603
00:36:10,294 --> 00:36:14,423
and arranges to meet for
lunch after his check-up.
604
00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:19,428
This morning
he couldn't remember
605
00:36:19,428 --> 00:36:22,348
where he'd put the clinic's
daily memory quizzes.
606
00:36:22,348 --> 00:36:32,347
[intense electrical
charges and zaps]
607
00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:37,404
[the music stops replaced
by Bill's vacuum cleaner]
608
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:39,865
He decides to make toast...
609
00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:44,078
but for a long moment
can't think of how it's done.
610
00:36:44,078 --> 00:36:48,999
There's only a brown stain now
where that bird had been.
611
00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:51,502
His doctor has
nothing but good news.
612
00:36:51,502 --> 00:36:53,921
Bill has continued to
make terrific progress
613
00:36:53,921 --> 00:36:56,841
and he can no longer find
anything out of the ordinary.
614
00:36:56,841 --> 00:36:59,635
He tells Bill that if he'd not
known his medical history,
615
00:36:59,635 --> 00:37:03,305
he would probably give him a
clean bill of health today.
616
00:37:03,305 --> 00:37:04,932
[a quiet, echoing cave...
617
00:37:04,932 --> 00:37:12,773
water is dripping and a
rumbling wind is distant]
618
00:37:12,773 --> 00:37:16,068
[tweeting sparrows
and light wing flaps]
619
00:37:16,068 --> 00:37:19,572
On his way to lunch, Bill smiles
and thinks for the first time
620
00:37:19,572 --> 00:37:21,323
that maybe everything
will be--
621
00:37:21,323 --> 00:37:23,075
[a sudden, overwhelming
flood of electrical zaps,
622
00:37:23,075 --> 00:37:33,074
echoing voices,
and constant tones]
623
00:37:33,294 --> 00:37:36,338
[the wall of sound gives
way to beautiful music,
624
00:37:36,338 --> 00:37:40,050
slowly building in
urgency...]
625
00:37:40,050 --> 00:37:42,511
Bill was born
late Tuesday morning
626
00:37:42,511 --> 00:37:45,681
into a world of
orange and red.
627
00:37:45,681 --> 00:37:49,518
[the chimes of a
child's music box]
628
00:37:49,518 --> 00:37:57,359
He likes the way the aquamarine
rug feels across his hands.
629
00:37:57,359 --> 00:38:00,779
He likes sunbeams...
...and rockets...
630
00:38:00,779 --> 00:38:02,781
...and the smell of the
backyard in the early morning.
631
00:38:02,781 --> 00:38:05,618
[a distant family
dog is barking]
632
00:38:05,618 --> 00:38:07,912
He likes tigers...
...and trees...
633
00:38:07,912 --> 00:38:09,872
...and melted
chocolate ice cream...
634
00:38:09,872 --> 00:38:12,166
...and watching the
lights while falling asleep
635
00:38:12,166 --> 00:38:13,334
in the back seat.
636
00:38:13,334 --> 00:38:15,085
[the whooshing sounds
of cars flying past....
637
00:38:15,085 --> 00:38:20,507
the beautiful music is building
with more and more intensity]
638
00:38:20,507 --> 00:38:22,217
[electrical charges
and an elongated,
639
00:38:22,217 --> 00:38:23,135
comforting exhale of breath]
640
00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:24,678
Someone sits on the shore
641
00:38:24,678 --> 00:38:26,764
and tells him how the
waves have been there
642
00:38:26,764 --> 00:38:28,724
long before Bill existed...
643
00:38:28,724 --> 00:38:32,186
...and that they'll still be
there long after he's gone.
644
00:38:32,186 --> 00:38:33,687
Bill looks out at the water
645
00:38:33,687 --> 00:38:35,564
and thinks of all the
wonderful things
646
00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:36,774
he will do with his life.
647
00:38:36,774 --> 00:38:41,195
[the music
reaches its peak ]
648
00:38:41,195 --> 00:38:44,990
[silence]
649
00:38:44,990 --> 00:38:49,286
[distant thunder]
650
00:38:49,286 --> 00:38:52,539
[a sudden gasp for air]
651
00:38:52,539 --> 00:38:58,796
[artificially
slowed-down music...
652
00:38:58,796 --> 00:39:04,468
strange calming sounds... and
occasional electric discharges]
653
00:39:16,146 --> 00:39:20,859
[a loud zap, and then
sudden silence]
654
00:39:20,859 --> 00:39:22,611
Female voice: "Bill?
Can you hear me, Bill?"
655
00:39:22,611 --> 00:39:24,154
Male voice: "Look at
me, Bill. Look at me."
656
00:39:24,154 --> 00:39:25,030
Nurse voice: "140 over 90."
657
00:39:25,030 --> 00:39:25,698
Male voice: "Bill,
can you hear me?"
658
00:39:25,698 --> 00:39:26,782
Female voice: "Bill?"
659
00:39:26,782 --> 00:39:28,492
Male voice, getting distant:
"Bill, can you hear me?"
660
00:39:28,492 --> 00:39:29,618
[the slow music
661
00:39:29,618 --> 00:39:37,042
and beautiful soothing
sounds gradually return...]
662
00:39:44,425 --> 00:39:54,424
[Music]
663
00:40:03,986 --> 00:40:06,488
The last thing
Bill can remember
664
00:40:06,488 --> 00:40:10,451
is speaking to
his ex-girlfriend....
665
00:40:13,620 --> 00:40:15,998
...bird wings...
666
00:40:15,998 --> 00:40:18,625
...and the smell
of black licorice.
667
00:40:18,625 --> 00:40:20,836
[the beautiful
music grows darker,
668
00:40:20,836 --> 00:40:30,835
getting louder
and stronger...]
669
00:40:30,971 --> 00:40:38,020
getting louder
and stronger...]
670
00:40:38,020 --> 00:40:38,937
[the music and
sounds suddenly stop,
671
00:40:38,937 --> 00:40:47,654
replaced by a
simple harp melody]
672
00:40:47,654 --> 00:40:53,577
He watches dust float across
the sunbeam above his head.
673
00:40:57,039 --> 00:40:59,416
And then he
goes back to sleep.
674
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:07,049
His roommate's name is Matthew,
a paralyzed young man
675
00:41:07,049 --> 00:41:08,467
hidden by curtains
676
00:41:08,467 --> 00:41:11,762
who communicates to the nursing
staff through a row of buttons
677
00:41:11,762 --> 00:41:15,015
that can play five different
electronic sentences...
678
00:41:15,015 --> 00:41:18,852
...but more often than not,
he only presses one of them:
679
00:41:18,852 --> 00:41:20,979
Electronic voice:
"I am in pain."
680
00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:23,315
Every afternoon, the
reflections of sunlight
681
00:41:23,315 --> 00:41:25,818
from the traffic below
cast colorful patterns
682
00:41:25,818 --> 00:41:28,112
across their ceiling.
683
00:41:28,112 --> 00:41:30,072
In the mornings, the
sunlight illuminates
684
00:41:30,072 --> 00:41:32,574
Matthew's curtain and
makes it look beautiful
685
00:41:32,574 --> 00:41:35,452
even though it's just gray.
686
00:41:35,452 --> 00:41:37,996
His ex-girlfriend's
been visiting lately
687
00:41:37,996 --> 00:41:41,542
and they talk for hours
about current events.
688
00:41:41,542 --> 00:41:46,004
Sometimes they
eat ice cream bars.
689
00:41:46,004 --> 00:41:50,092
It's the happiest
he's been in a long time.
690
00:41:50,092 --> 00:41:56,515
[the simple music swells,
against light thunder
691
00:41:56,515 --> 00:41:59,810
and the sound of rain]
692
00:41:59,810 --> 00:42:01,979
Bill is introduced
to a new doctor
693
00:42:01,979 --> 00:42:03,981
and given a
short interview.
694
00:42:03,981 --> 00:42:05,607
He doesn't know
what month it is,
695
00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:07,943
but he's aware
he's in a hospital.
696
00:42:07,943 --> 00:42:10,112
He can't remember
his address,
697
00:42:10,112 --> 00:42:13,615
so he supposes he must
have always lived here.
698
00:42:13,615 --> 00:42:16,952
His vision's a blurry, and
he no longer has strength
699
00:42:16,952 --> 00:42:19,121
in the grip of his left hand.
700
00:42:19,121 --> 00:42:23,041
Bill is asked to describe
a series of photographs.
701
00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:26,920
He's able to put words to
many of these objects...
702
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,883
...but is very confused
by some of the others.
703
00:42:33,927 --> 00:42:36,638
He also has difficulty
distinguishing the faces
704
00:42:36,638 --> 00:42:39,266
of people he knows.
705
00:42:39,266 --> 00:42:43,187
All of these people
really just look the same.
706
00:42:43,187 --> 00:42:45,480
And though he can recognize
his ex-girlfriend
707
00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,442
because of her long hair...
708
00:42:48,442 --> 00:42:51,361
...he can't
remember her name.
709
00:42:52,863 --> 00:42:53,822
He tells the doctor
710
00:42:53,822 --> 00:42:57,284
he has a fish living
inside of his head,
711
00:42:57,284 --> 00:43:00,120
"possibly a trout."
712
00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:02,664
It'll be another night
before it dawns on him
713
00:43:02,664 --> 00:43:04,791
that something seems missing.
714
00:43:04,791 --> 00:43:08,295
All the memories the doctor
asked him to recall today
715
00:43:08,295 --> 00:43:10,839
are suddenly out of his grasp.
716
00:43:10,839 --> 00:43:14,843
So many years of
faces and moments...
717
00:43:14,843 --> 00:43:17,596
...are mostly just a
vague feeling now.
718
00:43:17,596 --> 00:43:19,848
[ominous thunder and rain]
719
00:43:19,848 --> 00:43:24,228
The years are slipping
out of his head.
720
00:43:27,272 --> 00:43:29,566
Yesterday, a
gardener with a hose
721
00:43:29,566 --> 00:43:33,028
blasted all the sparrow nests
from the second-story awning
722
00:43:33,028 --> 00:43:34,696
of the building next door...
723
00:43:34,696 --> 00:43:39,743
...raining mud and little broken
eggs into the parking lot.
724
00:43:41,620 --> 00:43:42,996
Another test
has been arranged
725
00:43:42,996 --> 00:43:45,916
and Bill is taken
to a white room.
726
00:43:45,916 --> 00:43:48,252
A radiologist
makes an incision
727
00:43:48,252 --> 00:43:51,880
and pushes a catheter
into his femoral artery.
728
00:43:51,880 --> 00:43:54,216
The catheter is carefully
pushed through his stomach
729
00:43:54,216 --> 00:43:57,135
to his heart, up
through his chest,
730
00:43:57,135 --> 00:44:00,347
and into his head, where a
special dye is introduced
731
00:44:00,347 --> 00:44:03,976
to flood the blood vessels
in his brain for X-rays.
732
00:44:03,976 --> 00:44:07,604
Bill is then asked to raise
his arms and count to twenty.
733
00:44:07,604 --> 00:44:09,898
A powerful anesthetic
is introduced
734
00:44:09,898 --> 00:44:13,986
to temporarily shut down the
left hemisphere of his brain.
735
00:44:13,986 --> 00:44:16,238
And for the
remaining half of Bill,
736
00:44:16,238 --> 00:44:17,948
the test begi--
737
00:44:17,948 --> 00:44:20,909
Woman's voice: "Bill?
Can you hear me?"
738
00:44:20,909 --> 00:44:23,203
Woman's voice: "Bill, can
you look up here for me?
739
00:44:23,203 --> 00:44:25,747
Can you tell me
what these objects are?"
740
00:44:25,747 --> 00:44:28,667
Woman's voice: "Bill, can
you tell me what this is?"
741
00:44:28,667 --> 00:44:31,753
Man's voice: "Bill, can you
add up these numbers for me?"
742
00:44:31,753 --> 00:44:33,422
Woman's voice:
"You're doing great, Bill."
743
00:44:33,422 --> 00:44:34,339
Man's voice: "Okay.
744
00:44:34,339 --> 00:44:35,757
And what do these
numbers add up to?"
745
00:44:35,757 --> 00:44:37,718
Woman's voice: "Look at
me, Bill, look at me.
746
00:44:37,718 --> 00:44:38,969
Bill, look at me."
747
00:44:38,969 --> 00:44:41,263
Man's voice: "Okay, Bill, and
can you tell me who this is?"
748
00:44:41,263 --> 00:44:42,764
Woman's voice: "It's okay,
Bill, you're doing great."
749
00:44:42,764 --> 00:44:45,058
Man's voice: "And can
you tell me who this is?"
750
00:44:45,058 --> 00:44:47,978
Man's voice: "Bill, can
you tell me who this is?
751
00:44:47,978 --> 00:44:49,688
Do you remember her?"
752
00:45:05,370 --> 00:45:07,539
Today she's joined
by her boyfriend,
753
00:45:07,539 --> 00:45:10,625
a young man named Steve who
spends most of the afternoon
754
00:45:10,625 --> 00:45:13,587
in the corner quietly staring
at Matthew's curtain.
755
00:45:13,587 --> 00:45:15,255
Electronic voice:
"I am in pain."
756
00:45:15,255 --> 00:45:17,799
The doctor explains to her
that Bill may be having trouble
757
00:45:17,799 --> 00:45:21,094
understanding past tense
and present tense.
758
00:45:21,094 --> 00:45:23,138
It may also be difficult
for Bill to understand
759
00:45:23,138 --> 00:45:26,600
which of his memories are
real, and which are imagined.
760
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,394
When the brain is confronted
with major memory loss,
761
00:45:29,394 --> 00:45:33,440
it often fills in the blanks
with confabulated stories:
762
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:37,486
False memories, people
who never existed...
763
00:45:37,486 --> 00:45:42,032
...invented conclusions to make
everyday life less confusing...
764
00:45:42,032 --> 00:45:46,203
and to somehow rationalize
what's happening to him.
765
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,665
Today they
will chat awkwardly.
766
00:45:50,665 --> 00:45:53,251
Bill's been unable
to stay on one subject
767
00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:54,753
for more than a few moments
768
00:45:54,753 --> 00:45:57,547
and seems to get
easily frustrated.
769
00:45:57,547 --> 00:45:59,216
She will say she didn't know
770
00:45:59,216 --> 00:46:01,593
why she'd brought Steve
along yesterday,
771
00:46:01,593 --> 00:46:03,720
and admits he'd been so shaken
772
00:46:03,720 --> 00:46:07,182
by the experience that
he quietly cried in the car
773
00:46:07,182 --> 00:46:10,352
on the way home.
774
00:46:10,352 --> 00:46:13,563
The sparrows have
already begun to rebuild,
775
00:46:13,563 --> 00:46:17,609
but he's not sure if he
feels happy or sad for them.
776
00:46:20,237 --> 00:46:21,154
[intense and fiery jet engines]
777
00:46:21,154 --> 00:46:22,572
He dreams he's part
of a rocket crew,
778
00:46:22,572 --> 00:46:24,866
re-entering the
earth's atmosphere.
779
00:46:24,866 --> 00:46:26,743
As they rapidly
descend, it's believed
780
00:46:26,743 --> 00:46:29,079
that eating ice cream bars
will help prevent them
781
00:46:29,079 --> 00:46:30,914
from having strokes.
782
00:46:30,914 --> 00:46:34,000
As the heat intensifies,
Bill eats his ice cream bar
783
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,795
and secretly hopes that if
something bad had to happen,
784
00:46:36,795 --> 00:46:38,296
the ship wouldn't explode,
785
00:46:38,296 --> 00:46:41,299
but just that everyone
else would have strokes.
786
00:46:41,299 --> 00:46:43,176
A final battery of
tests are ordered
787
00:46:43,176 --> 00:46:46,054
to positively rule out
the chance of surgery.
788
00:46:46,054 --> 00:46:49,349
Highly drugged, Bill will have
no memory of these tests
789
00:46:49,349 --> 00:46:51,560
other than a terrible
noise to his right...
790
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:52,811
[whirring machines and the
steady pulse of a ventilator]
791
00:46:52,811 --> 00:46:55,981
...and a brief vision
of a seahorse...
792
00:46:55,981 --> 00:46:57,190
...and a falling tree.
793
00:46:57,190 --> 00:47:07,189
[the ventilator continues,
among soft, otherworldly sounds]
794
00:47:07,409 --> 00:47:12,914
[silence]
795
00:47:12,914 --> 00:47:14,374
This morning he can't remember
796
00:47:14,374 --> 00:47:17,544
the last time his ex-girlfriend
had come to visit.
797
00:47:17,544 --> 00:47:21,131
It could be hours...
or maybe it's been weeks.
798
00:47:21,131 --> 00:47:24,509
His uncle, whom Bill had not
even noticed in the room,
799
00:47:24,509 --> 00:47:27,804
looks out the window and
talks about Bill's mother.
800
00:47:27,804 --> 00:47:31,808
Then he says, "It's too bad
people don't say how they feel
801
00:47:31,808 --> 00:47:35,937
until it's already too late."
802
00:47:35,937 --> 00:47:38,315
And then he says nothing.
803
00:47:38,315 --> 00:47:40,901
The TV in the room
is always on mute
804
00:47:40,901 --> 00:47:42,444
and behind his uncle's head,
805
00:47:42,444 --> 00:47:46,615
Bill watches a superhero
quietly melt a monster's face.
806
00:47:46,615 --> 00:47:49,826
His doctor visits and asks if
Bill might be more comfortable
807
00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:52,746
at home for a few days
under family care,
808
00:47:52,746 --> 00:47:54,372
until the final
results come in.
809
00:47:54,372 --> 00:47:57,667
[a front door shuts]
810
00:47:57,667 --> 00:47:59,753
A neighbor must have
put these groceries
811
00:47:59,753 --> 00:48:01,254
in his apartment for him,
812
00:48:01,254 --> 00:48:03,798
which was a
very nice gesture.
813
00:48:08,970 --> 00:48:12,516
It's kind of a
really nice day...
814
00:48:12,516 --> 00:48:16,394
he decides to walk
around the block.
815
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:18,897
On the side of the road, he
sees a woman's tennis shoe
816
00:48:18,897 --> 00:48:24,486
filled with leaves, and it fills
him with inexplicable sadness.
817
00:48:24,486 --> 00:48:27,364
He walks down
his side street...
818
00:48:27,364 --> 00:48:31,493
...alongside the bridge
past the farmer's market...
819
00:48:31,493 --> 00:48:34,496
...and back up
the main thoroughfare.
820
00:48:44,130 --> 00:48:47,509
It's kind of
a really nice day...
821
00:48:47,509 --> 00:48:51,012
he decides to take a
walk around the block.
822
00:48:51,012 --> 00:48:53,598
On the side of the road, he
sees a woman's tennis shoe
823
00:48:53,598 --> 00:48:59,729
filled with leaves, and it fills
him with inexplicable sadness.
824
00:48:59,729 --> 00:49:02,399
He walks down
his side street...
825
00:49:02,399 --> 00:49:07,153
...alongside the bridge
past the farmer's market...
826
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:10,448
...and back up the
main thoroughfare.
827
00:49:17,497 --> 00:49:20,417
It's kind of a
really nice day...
828
00:49:20,417 --> 00:49:23,753
he decides to take a walk
around the blo--
829
00:49:23,753 --> 00:49:30,051
[a front door shuts... quiet
acoustic guitar music]
830
00:49:30,051 --> 00:49:32,470
That hand is
dropping everything.
831
00:49:36,349 --> 00:49:41,187
Wasn't he supposed
to call somebody?
832
00:49:41,187 --> 00:49:44,441
What was her name?
833
00:49:47,986 --> 00:49:52,991
What in the hell is
wrong with this mug?
834
00:49:52,991 --> 00:49:57,078
Does he really
need this much food?
835
00:49:57,078 --> 00:50:02,000
There's a doctor on
his answering machine...
836
00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:06,713
has he been sick?
837
00:50:06,713 --> 00:50:10,175
A doctor carefully explains
test results with him.
838
00:50:10,175 --> 00:50:12,385
He goes over numbers
and information
839
00:50:12,385 --> 00:50:15,430
that Bill doesn't understand,
and reiterates things
840
00:50:15,430 --> 00:50:17,349
that Bill doesn't remember.
841
00:50:17,349 --> 00:50:19,768
He's momentarily quiet...
842
00:50:19,768 --> 00:50:23,688
....and then tells Bill he
doesn't have very long to live.
843
00:50:33,198 --> 00:50:36,409
It's kind of a
really nice day.
844
00:50:36,409 --> 00:50:39,120
He decides to walk
around the block.
845
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,372
On the side of the
road he sees
846
00:50:40,372 --> 00:50:42,582
a woman's tennis shoe
filled with leaves,
847
00:50:42,582 --> 00:50:44,626
and it fills him with
inexplicable sadness.
848
00:50:44,626 --> 00:50:47,379
He walks down his side street
and sees striking colors
849
00:50:47,379 --> 00:50:48,963
in the faces of the
people around him...
850
00:50:48,963 --> 00:50:51,383
...details in these
beautiful brick walls
851
00:50:51,383 --> 00:50:53,802
and weeds that he must
have passed every day
852
00:50:53,802 --> 00:50:54,636
but never noticed.
853
00:50:54,636 --> 00:50:56,304
The air
smells different,
854
00:50:56,304 --> 00:50:58,682
brighter somehow, and the
currents under the bridge
855
00:50:58,682 --> 00:51:02,811
look strange and vivid and
the sun is warming his face
856
00:51:02,811 --> 00:51:06,314
and the world is clumsy
and beautiful and new.
857
00:51:06,314 --> 00:51:07,691
[the beautiful music peaks
and becomes overwhelming]
858
00:51:07,691 --> 00:51:09,859
And it's as though
he's been sleepwalking,
859
00:51:09,859 --> 00:51:11,986
asleep for God
knows how long,
860
00:51:11,986 --> 00:51:16,533
and something has
violently shaken him... awake.
861
00:51:16,533 --> 00:51:20,078
His bathmats are gorgeous.
862
00:51:22,038 --> 00:51:25,125
The grain patterns in
his cheap wood cabinets
863
00:51:25,125 --> 00:51:27,836
vibrate something
deep within him.
864
00:51:27,836 --> 00:51:30,880
He's fascinated by the way
his paper towels drink water.
865
00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:33,633
He's never really
appreciated these things...
866
00:51:33,633 --> 00:51:35,135
all this detail.
867
00:51:35,135 --> 00:51:36,344
He's never noticed...
868
00:51:36,344 --> 00:51:38,263
...detail......he's alive...
869
00:51:38,263 --> 00:51:38,888
...he's never noticed...
870
00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:40,849
...he's alive...
871
00:51:40,849 --> 00:51:45,520
he's alive...
872
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,856
The stars rattle
him to the core...
873
00:51:47,856 --> 00:51:50,024
how these lights
have traveled for tens
874
00:51:50,024 --> 00:51:52,318
of millions of years to
reach him at this moment...
875
00:51:52,318 --> 00:51:54,279
...how somewhere far
away our own sun looks
876
00:51:54,279 --> 00:51:55,321
just like one of these...
877
00:51:55,321 --> 00:51:57,615
...how many of the
stars no longer even exist,
878
00:51:57,615 --> 00:51:59,743
but whose ancient light
is just reaching him now...
879
00:51:59,743 --> 00:52:01,828
an impression
from a ghost...
880
00:52:01,828 --> 00:52:04,706
...an amazing, infinite
time machine every night
881
00:52:04,706 --> 00:52:08,251
above his head that he's
ignored for most of his life.
882
00:52:08,251 --> 00:52:10,712
He wants to stop people
in the street and say,
883
00:52:10,712 --> 00:52:12,881
"Isn't this amazing?
884
00:52:12,881 --> 00:52:15,633
Isn't everything amazing?"
885
00:52:15,633 --> 00:52:17,802
He runs to the
car rental place
886
00:52:17,802 --> 00:52:20,555
and finds himself a
freeway and drives all night,
887
00:52:20,555 --> 00:52:23,725
following directions in his head
to a place he can't remember...
888
00:52:23,725 --> 00:52:27,145
absorbing everything he can
before it all fades again
889
00:52:27,145 --> 00:52:28,855
with the morning.
890
00:52:28,855 --> 00:52:33,902
[the powerful music finally
relents and it is quiet again]
891
00:52:33,902 --> 00:52:37,280
He's got the
keys to this car.
892
00:52:39,741 --> 00:52:42,827
He also has keys to a motel
room but he can't remember
893
00:52:42,827 --> 00:52:45,538
the last time he slept.
894
00:52:45,538 --> 00:52:50,376
He's sitting in the sun
outside of a laundromat.
895
00:52:50,376 --> 00:52:54,172
An older guy in a baseball
cap stands at a pay phone
896
00:52:54,172 --> 00:52:57,842
and nervously lifts and
hangs up the receiver.
897
00:53:12,690 --> 00:53:14,943
He asks to
borrow Bill's pencil
898
00:53:14,943 --> 00:53:17,445
and then places a
call to his daughter.
899
00:53:17,445 --> 00:53:20,323
He tells her he loves her
and he's proud of her
900
00:53:20,323 --> 00:53:24,118
and that one day soon,
"We'll finally have our day."
901
00:53:24,118 --> 00:53:26,871
Then he says,
"Fantastic, fantastic,
902
00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,456
and hangs up the phone.
903
00:53:28,456 --> 00:53:29,707
Although it looks like the wind
904
00:53:29,707 --> 00:53:31,084
had been knocked out of him,
905
00:53:31,084 --> 00:53:34,838
he presents the pencil back to
Bill with a little flourish,
906
00:53:34,838 --> 00:53:37,590
as though proud no
harm had come to it
907
00:53:37,590 --> 00:53:39,342
while in his possession.
908
00:53:41,594 --> 00:53:44,889
He dreams of fog on
the dark edge of a cliff,
909
00:53:44,889 --> 00:53:46,474
where hundreds
of feet below,
910
00:53:46,474 --> 00:53:49,644
the deep sea swells
up against the rocks.
911
00:53:49,644 --> 00:53:52,146
And if you lean over the
edge and squint your eyes
912
00:53:52,146 --> 00:53:55,483
just right, you can barely
make out the gray shapes
913
00:53:55,483 --> 00:53:57,986
of all the cars that had
driven off the cliff
914
00:53:57,986 --> 00:54:02,073
over the years, sunken
deep beneath the surface.
915
00:54:02,073 --> 00:54:05,159
And as each wave
washes slowly over them,
916
00:54:05,159 --> 00:54:07,996
the undertow quietly
pulls their headlights
917
00:54:07,996 --> 00:54:10,999
on and off...
918
00:54:10,999 --> 00:54:14,794
...on an endless loop, growing
slowly dimmer over the years
919
00:54:14,794 --> 00:54:18,506
until the day comes that
they fade completely.
920
00:54:18,506 --> 00:54:22,385
[silence]
921
00:54:22,385 --> 00:54:25,722
[soft chimes]
922
00:54:25,722 --> 00:54:27,765
He's at a house now.
923
00:54:27,765 --> 00:54:31,060
When he was little, he would run
through a house just like this
924
00:54:31,060 --> 00:54:33,187
with a flashlight
pointed at the ceiling,
925
00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:36,816
pretending he was an astronaut
soaring over the moon.
926
00:54:36,816 --> 00:54:37,400
[sad and beautiful
piano music begins]
927
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:39,110
A familiar person's here.
928
00:54:39,110 --> 00:54:40,904
He's not sure
how he found him,
929
00:54:40,904 --> 00:54:43,239
maybe he's been followed,
but they're talking now
930
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:44,908
and Bill is given an address.
931
00:54:44,908 --> 00:54:48,119
An address his mother never
wanted him to have, he says,
932
00:54:48,119 --> 00:54:50,163
but it's important
Bill have it now.
933
00:54:50,163 --> 00:54:52,582
An address where he
can find his father.
934
00:54:52,582 --> 00:54:54,125
Bill's real father.
935
00:54:54,125 --> 00:54:56,836
A man who was gone
before he was born,
936
00:54:56,836 --> 00:55:01,049
a man he'd only met once
but was too young to know it.
937
00:55:04,552 --> 00:55:07,055
And he's driving again
now, for several hours,
938
00:55:07,055 --> 00:55:08,264
he's not sure...
939
00:55:08,264 --> 00:55:11,184
...and with every mile he
loses a few more memories...
940
00:55:11,184 --> 00:55:12,894
...and he finds
another motel,
941
00:55:12,894 --> 00:55:14,938
and that night he eats
a lot of ice cream
942
00:55:14,938 --> 00:55:17,899
and doesn't remember
his dreams at all...
943
00:55:20,735 --> 00:55:24,030
He's in a nursing home....
944
00:55:24,030 --> 00:55:26,574
is he old?
945
00:55:26,574 --> 00:55:30,620
A room full of windows...
946
00:55:30,620 --> 00:55:32,789
And he gives a name on a paper
that's not in his handwriting
947
00:55:32,789 --> 00:55:34,415
to the front counter...
948
00:55:34,415 --> 00:55:37,710
...and a frail old man is being
wheeled to see him now...
949
00:55:37,710 --> 00:55:40,338
...a man who's been
here for over ten years,
950
00:55:40,338 --> 00:55:45,009
but rarely had a visitor.
951
00:55:49,806 --> 00:55:52,600
Neither of these two people
remember why they're there,
952
00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:55,395
or who exactly
this other person is.
953
00:55:55,395 --> 00:56:00,400
But they sit and they
watch a game show together.
954
00:56:02,527 --> 00:56:04,612
And when it's time
for bill to leave,
955
00:56:04,612 --> 00:56:07,532
he stands and says
something beautiful to him.
956
00:56:10,326 --> 00:56:12,745
And neither of them understand
what he means exactly,
957
00:56:12,745 --> 00:56:15,581
but the old man
begins to cry anyway...
958
00:56:15,581 --> 00:56:17,750
and they will never
see each other again.
959
00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:20,420
[the piano
music fades away]
960
00:56:20,420 --> 00:56:22,046
He's driving a car.
961
00:56:22,046 --> 00:56:24,590
And every time he
realizes he's driving a car,
962
00:56:24,590 --> 00:56:27,468
he figures he should
just keep driving the car.
963
00:56:27,468 --> 00:56:29,262
And sometimes he sings.
964
00:56:29,262 --> 00:56:30,805
And sometimes he cries.
965
00:56:30,805 --> 00:56:32,890
And the left side of
his body is beginning
966
00:56:32,890 --> 00:56:34,809
to grow slack and numb.
967
00:56:34,809 --> 00:56:37,395
And all he wants to do
is just keep driving,
968
00:56:37,395 --> 00:56:39,022
somehow to keep on driving,
969
00:56:39,022 --> 00:56:40,898
he has no more
directions to follow
970
00:56:40,898 --> 00:56:43,860
but he fills the car with
gas again and again
971
00:56:43,860 --> 00:56:45,528
and keeps going
into the night,
972
00:56:45,528 --> 00:56:49,907
he wants to keep going,
he wants to go forever...
973
00:57:13,723 --> 00:57:16,934
It's such a beautiful day.
974
00:57:21,856 --> 00:57:23,191
Wait a minute.
975
00:57:23,191 --> 00:57:25,526
He's not going to die here...
976
00:57:25,526 --> 00:57:26,444
but he doesn't die here.
977
00:57:26,444 --> 00:57:26,903
No, no, no, no, no.
978
00:57:26,903 --> 00:57:27,403
Bill, get up.
979
00:57:27,403 --> 00:57:28,071
Bill?
980
00:57:28,071 --> 00:57:28,696
Get up, Bill.
981
00:57:28,696 --> 00:57:30,073
No, he can't die here.
982
00:57:30,073 --> 00:57:31,324
He's not gonna die here.
983
00:57:31,324 --> 00:57:32,909
He can't ever die.
984
00:57:32,909 --> 00:57:34,202
Bill?.....
985
00:57:34,202 --> 00:57:35,787
Bill?
986
00:57:37,705 --> 00:57:41,417
[beautiful orchestral
music begins]
987
00:57:41,417 --> 00:57:44,545
He will spend hundreds of
years traveling the world,
988
00:57:44,545 --> 00:57:47,840
learning all
there is to know.
989
00:57:47,840 --> 00:57:51,094
He will learn
every language.
990
00:57:51,094 --> 00:57:55,056
He will read every book.
991
00:57:55,056 --> 00:57:59,143
He will know every land.
992
00:57:59,143 --> 00:58:01,562
He will spend
thousands of years
993
00:58:01,562 --> 00:58:04,899
creating stunning
works of art.
994
00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:11,280
He will learn to meditate
to control all pain.
995
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:14,784
As wars will be fought...
996
00:58:14,784 --> 00:58:17,870
and great loves found...
997
00:58:20,456 --> 00:58:23,042
...and lost.
998
00:58:23,042 --> 00:58:25,711
And found...
999
00:58:28,214 --> 00:58:30,258
...lost...
1000
00:58:30,258 --> 00:58:31,509
and found.
1001
00:58:31,509 --> 00:58:32,927
[brief static noises as the
picture seems to malfunction]
1002
00:58:32,927 --> 00:58:35,138
And found...
1003
00:58:35,138 --> 00:58:37,431
...and found...
1004
00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:42,145
...and memories built upon
memories until life runs
1005
00:58:42,145 --> 00:58:44,689
on an endless loop.
1006
00:58:44,689 --> 00:58:50,444
[more static
malfunction noises]
1007
00:58:50,444 --> 00:58:54,907
He will father hundreds of
thousands of children...
1008
00:58:54,907 --> 00:58:56,951
...whose own
exponential offspring
1009
00:58:56,951 --> 00:59:01,497
he'll slowly lose track
of through the years.
1010
00:59:01,497 --> 00:59:04,834
Whose millions of beautiful
lives will all eventually
1011
00:59:04,834 --> 00:59:07,795
be swept again from the Earth.
1012
00:59:11,465 --> 00:59:15,845
And still, Bill
will continue.
1013
00:59:15,845 --> 00:59:21,809
He will learn more about life
than any being in history.
1014
00:59:21,809 --> 00:59:26,814
But death will forever
be a stranger to him.
1015
00:59:26,814 --> 00:59:28,649
People will come and go,
1016
00:59:28,649 --> 00:59:31,652
until names lose all meaning.
1017
00:59:31,652 --> 00:59:33,571
Until people
lose all meaning
1018
00:59:33,571 --> 00:59:35,823
and vanish entirely
from the world.
1019
00:59:35,823 --> 00:59:39,702
[a flutter of wings]
1020
00:59:39,702 --> 00:59:45,291
And still, Bill will live on.
1021
00:59:45,291 --> 00:59:49,128
He will befriend the next
inhabitants of the Earth.
1022
00:59:49,128 --> 00:59:53,382
Beings of light who
revere him as a god.
1023
00:59:53,382 --> 00:59:57,678
[low electrical hum]
1024
00:59:57,678 --> 01:00:02,600
And Bill will
outlive them all.
1025
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:07,980
For millions and
millions of years.
1026
01:00:07,980 --> 01:00:11,943
Exploring,
learning, living...
1027
01:00:11,943 --> 01:00:14,820
Until the Earth is
swallowed beneath his feet.
1028
01:00:14,820 --> 01:00:19,242
[the music swells]
1029
01:00:19,242 --> 01:00:22,578
Until the Sun is
long since gone.
1030
01:00:26,791 --> 01:00:30,253
Until time loses all meaning
and the moment comes
1031
01:00:30,253 --> 01:00:33,381
that he knows only the
positions of the stars...
1032
01:00:33,381 --> 01:00:37,843
...and sees them whether
his eyes are closed or open.
1033
01:00:37,843 --> 01:00:39,762
Until he forgets his name
1034
01:00:39,762 --> 01:00:44,308
and the place where
he'd once come from.
1035
01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:47,103
He lives and he lives,
1036
01:00:47,103 --> 01:00:50,523
until all of the lights go out.